My thoughts were cutting through my hair and splitting my head in two as I tried to hold my tears from falling in my lap. But he saw them. Of course he saw them. I pulled over to the curb and cried and cried. I was ashamed of my tears and my faulty emotions, ashamed of my quivering chin so I kept my words to myself, still in the futile attempt to save face. I finally confessed through choking that I was afraid. He held me, and reassured me. "We're soul mates" he said "How can you live without your soul mate once you've found them?" I said I had no idea. "You'll never loose me." He said. I choose to believe him, because the alternative is unthinkable.
I've already lost so much of my life, and been blamed for it. Sometimes I wonder what'll keep me from screwing this up too.
Its taken me a while to put this into words, but I now not only have I seen right through them but I can describe the sight; they're just jealous. Where was my father's father? Where was their father? They are just jealous because here is a boy less than half their age who has been given the exact same set of tools to work with that they themselves were given, but rather than let them sit in the closet collecting dust Marcos is actually doing something with them. And building something beautiful, too.
Just as those before us roamed the land searching for better grazing lands, better crop lands, so we as spiritual beings were meant to travel this life searching for that warm place in the sun, that safe place to hang our hat, that better-than-before place. Some give up before they even know where they're going. And who can blame them?
But those who give up ought not scoff or throw poorly aimed stones when the tireless ones find the Promised Land.
-A.H.
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